I’ve started writing letters to my future husband. I write as though I know him when in all reality, I don’t even know if I’ve met him. I have pages and pages scattered here and there, in notebooks from high school, notes from Ecola, journals for writing messages, and all sorts of loose paper. There’s a lot of “I miss you’s” and “I love you’s” along with “when will you get here?” and “how will I know?” Although I’ve written all those words for all these years, I know there’s still so much more to be told.
Husband, if you’re reading this someday, know I love you and I really do miss you. However, life without you is still wonderful, because I know our One True Love is the Author of our love story. Sharing our Father and loving Him together is my biggest dream. I can’t wait to wake up in the mornings, wrapped in your arms, and hear you begin to pray. I can’t wait to go through the miseries this life will bring us, but go through them together and come out of them stronger. I can’t wait to have a love with you that will defy all other ideas of love. I want to hug you and hold your hand and fall asleep on your chest and hear your heart beat and giggle with our children while teaching them of Jesus’ love. These are the things I long to share with you and so much more.
But for now, while I wait for you to come carry me away, while I wait for you to sweep me off my feet, while I wait for us to fall in love, I remain committed to you. Although we have yet to say vows in front of our friends and family, I’ve said my vows in my heart. I’ve committed my life to you and my purity. Other boys can come along and try to win my heart, but not a single one of them will bring me out of my commitment to you, my love. Christ asks of us to remain pure until marriage and I fully intend to stay so. Immorality and impurity will not come into my life so long as I have free will and the Lord God Almighty by my side directing my ways.
Kids, if you’re reading this someday, know this: Mommy loved your Daddy even before she met him. Mommy loved youbefore she even met Daddy. In fact, I loved you so much I wanted nothing I did or said to be something I could be ashamed to tell you about. This is the example I want to place before you. This is the example I want you to see. I want you to understand this world has temptations and things that are pleasing to the senses, but once you’ve tasted them you find they are bitter to the core. I’m not saying Mommy’s perfect. In truth, I’m far from perfect, but I love God more than anything and I love you more than anything this world has to offer. When it comes to making a life with your Dad and a life for you, I have and will continue to lay aside my freedoms and pleasures so that you will be happy. I don’t exist without you. My life revolves around you and God. Without any of it, Mommy means nothing. Keep being the wonderful you that God blessed your father and me with. Don’t settle for less than the best God has to offer. Don’t play with temptations…we all get burned that way.
To my Father in Heaven, I know your reading my mind as I write this. I’ve fallen, sinned, and grieved your Holy Spirit more times than I probably even know. Let not my shortcomings keep me from your glory. I have a relationship with you I cherish more than anything…even my family. Call me home today and I’ll never complain nor say “no.” I long to be with you where I can look on your beautiful face and call you “Papa” only to hear you respond, “Yes, my darling.” Today let me be a shining example to my future family and to everyone that a relationship with you creates holiness and purity. Thank you for my desire to please you. Thank you for everything you’ve given me. Thank you for the troubles and heartaches that teach me reliance on You. For this, and so much more, I thank you and worship you.
I’m 20. Still pure. Still answering to God’s call. Trust me, it can be done.
(Post Note: I married my beloved in 2014 with my promise to purity fulfilled.)